The Way It Turns Out

Lately I've been going through life thinking that I could eventually work things out. That I would just go to school and take classes, I would gain my degree and after I would start paying off my loans. What I hadn't anticipated was that while I was in school I wouldn't have the funds to go to school. That I couldn't just go and not expect to have some kind of fee to pay. But I do...and I just want to give up, but I won't. I don't know how I'm going to make enough money to pay off my debt before I can enroll in school again. I hate that it's so hard. I've had a hard life. People want to say that I've been spoiled, that I'm a brat...but honestly? You don't know what the hell I had to go through, what I've had to overcome to keep myself from going insane, from committing suicide (something that I attempted/considered so many times as a child). They want to judge me based on how well off my parents are or how low we are. They want to look at the outside of what my life is showing and expect it to tell them I've been through nothing in my life. That things shouldn't affect me. But they are wrong, just because I might not care about what is normal or just because I choose not to divulge how deep my feelings are for something or someone doesn't mean I don't care. I....just...am floating. The light in me sees the light in you.