Decisions and Updates from the last few months!!!

Hey,

I haven’t wrote on here in a very long time. I actually miss it a lot. I guess I’ll have to do some updating.

1. I decided to finally move to Florida. I mean, I had always decided that I was going to go somewhere different but now I have a real chance of making it out there. I am in a pretty good place in my life currently. I have a really good amount of work experience under my belt and I am definitely more mature than I was a few years ago. I know some friends that currently live down there that I miss a bunch. They’ve been telling me for the last year or so that I should come down. I’ve decided that once my lease is up for my apartment in February of 2015 I’m just going to drive down. I’m selling all of my furniture, keeping pots and pans and only packing the cutest and most reasonable of clothes and just hitting the road. My friend Shayla is going to drive down there with me! I’m so excited but I’m definitely going to miss her a lot!
2. Update for car accident news! Apparently I made the wrong decision with the lawyer that I went through. Apparently, they only “work” when I call them and make sure they are doing their “job”. The accident was back in August and they still haven’t been working on my case and are only just now turning in what they need to for my car insurance to process everything. It’s really becoming a source of frustration for me as the hospital bills are piling up and they told me not to pay any of them; that they will be taken care of.
3. I bought a new car! Since my car had been totaled in the accident, I went and bought a new car. I have a 2010 Hyundai Accent. Her name is Shiloh (will upload a photo when I can) She is gorgeous and I love her! I bought her at around 73,000 miles and she runs beautifully. The best things I love is that she has power windows and power locks; AND THE CRUISE CONTROL WORKS! Those are things that Ana (1993 Plymouth Acclaim) did not have! I need to make a quite a bit of money because I have to buy my tags (which I haven’t done yet) and since my car costs around $8,600 my tags (I hear) are going to be around $700/$800. I currently only have $450 and a lot of that will be used for rent next week. UGH!!!
4. I need to start job hunting in Florida. I really have been looking for administrative positions, copy writing (my life dream) positions or just anything else that doesn’t require manual/general labor. I have gained a lot of experience in a large variety of areas over the last seven years that I’ve been working; hopefully I can find something that will pay me really well! I look forward to being in a new city and hope this life change will be very rewarding!
5. I’ve started my natural hair journey! I’ve also started a youtube channel documenting it (Which I will add a link HERE later when I can J). I cut my hair into a very short asymmetrical bob back in May 2014 and I got a relaxer that same day. I haven’t had a relaxer since then and my hair is so much longer than it was! My left side wasn’t even longer than my earlobe and now it’s almost touching my collarbone. On November 1, 2014 I started my Six Month Natural Hair Challenge. I am using only natural hair products on my hair. This includes using only products that can be consumed (coconut oil, eggs, baking soda, apple cider vinegar, water, etc.). I’m also not using any heat on my hair. That includes no flat iron, curling iron or blow dryers. I also have been washing my hair almost twice a week and moisturizing it daily with water, coconut oil and this  natural Shea Butter that my sister’s friend makes (I will upload a tag/link or name HERE once I get ahold of all that information J). My hair is healthier and prettier than it has ever been in my entire life. Check out my channel and subscribe! I’ll probably post about two videos a month and maybe more depending on the process I do and time that I have!
6. I am going to write for Harlequin! I am currently in the process of writing a 50,000 word novel for Harlequin! I have always loved their books and wanted to write for this but now I’ve decided to do it! I’ve also given myself until January 1, 2015 to finish the first draft of the novel I’m submitting! I need to get to work! I’ve done the outline but have not actually started the novel! OMG!!!
7. Also! I am still writing the online novel for the yellow book project. I put my first novel Hunter on it from the Dark Warriors series! Link is below! Enjoy! http://theyellowbookproject.blogspot.com/

Thank you guys for reading my online journal and I promise I will make more posts in the future!!

Talk to you later!

Jade Elyzabeth!

:Starting A New...

Memories of Car Accidents That Hurt Inside and Out

So, I was in a car accident on Saturday.

I was just starting my night, going out with my friend and we'd decided to take separate cars. My friend was right behind me, I wasn't driving the speed limit, just under it, so that she could catch up to me. I was coming down a main street and saw a truck just to the right of me. I, in no way, thought it would be a danger as I used to live on that side street and new there was a stop sign there. It seemed like just seconds later she was baring down on me and I slammed on the brakes. Knowing I wasn't going to be able to stop in time I tried swerving to the left. It was as if the woman didn't even see me. She just kept coming straight towards me until she slammed into the front and passenger side of my car.

I remember the impact was so rough my entire body slammed to the left and then jerked to the right. Less than a second later the airbag exploded and hit me right in the chin, driving my head back. My arm, chest, throat and shoulder felt like it was on fire. I screamed but nothing came out. It was as if fire coated my throat and I knew I had to get out. I hit the sidewalk, up onto the curb and the gutter all at once. The woman's truck went up onto the grass, hit the brick neighborhood sign and almost to the residents house. My head rocked and I leaned it to the right side, as the left side sent pain shooting from my collar bone to my jaw.

 I don't know the moment I started crying but I felt the tears on my cheek and my shoulders shook. Either, some how, my door was already open or, some how, I opened it. I don't actually remember opening the door and getting out. I do remember pushing against it, though. I gasped for breath but the cloud of white and heat that had filled the inside of the car seemed to take my breath away. I coughed and suddenly a pain, like sharp knives, stabbed just above my breast to the dip in my neck. The pain seemed to explode in my head and I instantly felt nauseated.

I hit the street with a thud but I couldn't really see if I'd landed on anything. The night around me felt fuzzy, my eyes were blurry. I heard voices around me and I remembered calling out for my friend. I think I heard her but I can't really remember. I heard a voice, closer, yell out that we needed to get away from the car, my car. She said it was smoking and might be on fire and the tears caught again in my throat. Another woman, just to the left of me who I couldn't quite see, told me to lay still. She said she was a nurse and that I needed to lay still. She asked me where the pain was and I couldn't really tell her. I hurt everywhere. I knew one thing though. I couldn't get into the ambulance, it freaked me out, scared me. Unless I was so hurt that I passed out or had no say in the situation, I couldn't go; wouldn't.

 The woman who hit me came over and laid on the ground next to me. She told me that she hadn't seen me, that she had just gotten out of bed, that she hadn't seen me. She repeated herself over and over and asked me if I was okay. I wanted to puke so bad but didn't want to embarrass myself. I held my hand over my mouth and breathed deeply despite the pain in my shoulder and back. She kept telling me to let it out and not hold it in.

The next few moments were the hardest. The cops, fire truck and ambulance arrived. People in the nearby houses came out onto their lawns. A few of them came running up to us, my friend, the woman and I. I was in pain but no one would help me. I cried, hard, which made the pain in my chest worse. I could see my car, Anna, just in front of me. The entire front was bent and crinkled. I could see the smoke coming from under the hood. In that moment I wanted to scream, hard. The car that I'd worked so hard for, worked 86 hours a week for was done. It was gone and there was nothing I could do or say. I loved that car, I didn't care if cars could be replaced (as people kept telling me). I couldn't care that my body was in pain. I knew my car was totaled and my heart hurt so bad.

As the cop was getting my information I held a bucket in my lap trying my hardest not to empty my empty stomach; I hadn't eaten in hours. He talked to me but I could barely focus on what he was saying. My breast burned where the airbag had exploded into my chest. My arm throbbed like it was on fire but I couldn't feel it as much as the numbness in my left arm.

I could hear her, over there, the woman that hit me. She was yelling out "I just don't understand...Why would she hit my car...Why didn't she stop?" I knew she was acting crazy, changing her tune from earlier but I wasn't sure why. The cop above me said she'd started yelling when they started asking her if she'd been drinking and asking her for her insurance. I heard the cop tell her "Ma'am, she didn't have a stop sign, you did!"

When I woke up in the hospital after passing out during one of the tests, they wheeled me out to the waiting room. I couldn't breathe as the events came back to me. The neck brace they'd put on me hurt more than the injuries I'd sustained. Over the next five hours I was carted to and from the hospital room to x-ray, CAT scan, and other rooms for more tests. They gave me pain medicine that immediately put me to sleep and had my head rolling around like a crazy person.

I don't know how I feel now. I am like an emotional wreck though. My mind keeps worrying, thinking about the woman and her insurance. Thinking about Anna and how I've only had her for seven months, thinking about the fact that there would be no fixing her. I hurt inside and out. I've been to the Chiropractor twice now and have had a few discussions with my car insurance and lawyer. My body hurts but not as much due to the muscle relaxer, pain medicine and muscle gel I was given. I am exhausted though, everything makes me tired. Even taking a shower this morning took me thirty minutes due to pain and exhaustion. I'm going to try and go back to work on Friday but I couldn't even handle being at the grocery store for thirty minutes today without my head rolling and my breathing slow.




:Starting A New...

The Yellow Book Project

So, I know that I said I wanted to change The Dark Warriors series book one, Hunter, into an online blog/novel. So I did. I am currently rewriting the chapters in the book to fit into posts, make the characters more relatable and try to strengthen my skill of staying in the same tense or from the one point of view. I haven't mastered this and it is a major downfall in my writing. However, that is not a problem. Practice makes better and best and that's what I'm doing. That is what the blog is for. Well, that and I also want to get the book out there for people to read, share my story and potentially glean the attention from someone that can help me move to the next point. I will eventually get the book published. Book one is Hunter Book two is Vectio Book three is Omen Book four is Mendax Book five is Constantine Book six is Technik ...and there you have it, folks. The entire Dark Warriors series laid out. Might I remind you, I also have an outline for each book along with the complex links between them mapped out. This series is going to be good, either that or i'm going to write alot of words just for my own selfish entertainment. Check the online novel out at the link below! :Starting A New...

Starting My Own Business

Hello! I figured it was about time that I came back on here and started to actually show case my work. I guess it’s really not me showcasing when I won’t actually put anything on this one but I feel like I should document it. I’m starting my own business. Of course I’m going to be a freelance copywriter but I’m definitely going to take it to the next level. I already have a few things planned out on Asana (which is like a task manager app for any order of thing). I definitely hope that I will have everything up and running by my birthday (Only three months away). Even if I don’t have the actual business set up I want to have a padded portfolio, a business website and at least a few pro bono published works under my belt along with the current spec I’m working on. I’ve decided I’m going to name it “E. Jemison Copywriting”. I had a few other options and ideas but this was the best one. I also had the idea to drop the initial but I am not sure I want to do that yet. I guess I will see which one I decide to go with in a few months. Competition: E. Jemison Copywriting vs. Jemison Copywriting I look forward to venturing into this new world of being a business owner and also of governing myself. I will regularly make updates so you can keep up with my growth on this journey! I guess the first updates would be that I am currently completing my course in Copywriting. I am taking a few classes in Business Management, Professional Presence, and Bookkeeping for Small Businesses and hope to find a class in Accounting and Finances. Thanks for reading! :Starting A New...

Horrid Dreams

I haven’t really talked about it too much. It seems almost impossible that my mind is working the way that it is. All my life I’ve been plagued with the most horrid of dreams but as of late it hasn’t been that bad of a problem. At least that’s how it was until almost four days ago. It’s not like something otherworldly is happening but I just can’t understand why it’s started up again. I can understand having these sorts of dreams when I was a child. Being young, abused, abandoned and emotionally unset I can definitely tell how bad dreams can plague my mind but right now things are much better. I’m not a victim any longer. I am no longer abused emotionally or physically. I just can’t quite put my finger on why this is happening. I’ve never really had an easy go of going to sleep. I hated sleeping when I was younger because I thought there was no possible way to be creative or come up with creative ideas while your sleep. I hate it even more now, as an adult, but for different reason. The other day I dreamt the scariest dream I’ve ever experienced in my life. Sometimes I have repeat nightmares for when I was a child but the thing about those is that I often times can tell that I’m dreaming. It’s like once you see something enough you know it’s not real. I know I’m going to wake up. The horrid part is that I can’t. I know that I die and I know about the torture that happens while I’m sleeping but I also know that I wake up in the end. Knowing this makes going through the dream harder. It’s like I’m trying to convince myself that I’m sleep and just to wake up but it never happens. I have to lie there with the man at the foot of my bed, slicing into the bottom of my feet. I have to feel the burn in my chest as the two women hold me under water, drowning me. I have to run, at full speed, with the small child in my arms as they chase us with knives and pitch forks. I have to do all this knowing that none of it is real and yet if I decide to stop running…I don’t know. I don’t know what will happen. It changes everything. The last time I stopped running, turned and told them that I was dreaming they laughed. They didn’t even acknowledge that I was speaking. They laughed and they came towards me slowly, as if taunting me. One man had ripped the little girl from my arms and threw her to the ground. She looked just like me, that little face, like lighter, honey eyed version of me with my dimples and reddish, brown and blonde hair. I didn’t even watch what they did to her, I just kept yelling I was dreaming and they just kept laughing. I tried to stop the things that happened next and I couldn’t. I remember waking, my body covered in sweat and tears streaming down my cheeks. The day before yesterday I dreamed a movie. I dreamed that I was in a movie and that the actual events were taking place. Partly, I had to stand by and watch them, the couple that were the main star of the story, tie up three young kids. One had to be around six, one was twelve and the other about fifteen years old. I remember them disappearing and seeing on the news after waking up one morning (in the dream). I remember then being in the house with them, back off set, and listening to a federal agent scream at them. He kept asking “Where are the children? Where are the children” and for the longest the couple screamed back until finally they gave up. They lead us back to a room at the rear of the house and there I saw the most monstrous thing I have ever experienced in my life. They’d cut them to pieces. The walls, the ceiling, the floors…everything was covered in blood. The woman had stepped down into the room and looked around like it was her masterpiece and said “isn’t it beautiful?” I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. I woke from the dream, hearing a whimpering sound that seems to come from me but I couldn’t even clear my throat to speak. I cuddled close, was held tight and closed my eyes but I can’t get that sight out of my mind. Fake or not, my imagination or not, I feel like I no longer have an innocent haze over my mind. I’ve never seen death like that in real life but I seem to still have found a way to see the worst parts of the world. Most of my dreams I can’t remember now but at the time, those few moments upon awaking, I can feel the horror and terror still. I don’t remember what the dream was about but I still have the feeling. In sleep, even been cuddled and safe in someone’s arms I’m still not safe; not truly. I am my own nightmare and going to sleep scares me. I admit I am scared of something. It isn’t the normal type of fear. I guess I’m just terrified of my own subconscious. I’m hoping things will go back to normal soon because no matter how long I sleep I can’t rest and I’m getting really exhausted. It seems like the only way I can sleep decently is to drink before I sleep. That’s what I’ve been doing and it sounds crazy to drink yourself to sleep but up until this past Sunday it was the only thing that works. Sunday I tried and it seemed worse than ever. I just want a good nights rest. :Starting A New...

Feeling of Accomplishment

There is nothing better than accomplishing goals. I came here for a reason and I must say that I’ve been procrastinating getting a car and an apartment. My rent here, at my parents’ house, is cheap. My phone bill is even cheaper. I just realized that I’ve had myself in some sort of limbo and hoped that I would pull myself out eventually. It’s not that I decided to have a New Year’s resolution or anything. (I make those on my birthday since that’s actually a ‘new year’.) I just want to get my goals that I set out to accomplish, accomplished. It seems that, now that I am actually getting it done, there is a weird fire running through my bones. It’s like excitement burning through my veins that makes me smile with happiness. I’m glad that I made the decision to move back to my home town. I loved living in Lawrence but it seemed sort of pointless to live there and not be a student, not have hardly any friends and have nothing that resembled a peace of mind. Currently, though, I can’t say I’ve had too much of that either. I’ve been so stressed with thoughts and worries that I literally made myself sick.
No longer.
I trusted that I would get my ideas together, that I would get my jobs,  that I would get my car and my company would jump off on a head start. I guessed right, it will be done and this will be a good year for us. The company already has contributors and my money is already coming in. I was approved for the apartment. Now it looks like the only thing that I need is the car. I have given myself until February 1st to get it. It means that I HAVE to have it by then because I move into my apartment on the first week of that month and it’s imperative that I have it.
I will!
I’m glad that it’s all working out. I decided to go with the two bedroom apartment and just turn the second bedroom into an office/studio space. I need to be able to eat, sleep, play, study and paint in different areas! I take over every space that I get and that is why I have to live alone. Yes, I might become a hermit and yes, I might shy away from the world and everything that has anything to do with the human race once I live alone but hey, that’s me. I would prefer that than living with like…ten people. I find that I might be hard to live with. Some people say yes and some say no but I know that I can be very anal about certain things, like clean bathrooms. Other things, like wearing clothes and cooking, I am not. I guess since I plan to continue working seventy plus hours a week that it’s good I live alone. This means my utilities will be slim to none and I’ll be able to come home to myself, my teddy bear and possibly a plate of bacon.
So excited!

Irma Jemison


:Starting A New...