Monday, April 18, 2011

Since Your Breaking My Heart, Hope I Die

So maybe fairytales don't come true, maybe there is a land somewhere that is beautiful and just flowing with milk and honey but princesses don't find princes, beautiful maidens don't go into kiss-cured coma's and women who are extremely tired don't become trapped by dragons. So i just want to know why i believed it all did? when did i think that there was actually a place where guys really do love more than one woman and pick the truest one, or that guys who are broke just admitt it instead of standing you up, or there might be somewhere out there someone who DOESN'T want you to become a bare-foot and pregnant wife before the age of nineteen, or the guys that want to be with you but also be shared with five other girls, or even the guys who believe they are more beautiful than you are... i don't know why i believed that somewhere there is a happy ending. Chilvary has died and romance climbed in the grave and baried itself right along with it. Love is vapor and goes where ever the wind blows and may even dissipitate if your not careful with how you treat it. I can't remember a time when my heart was frail. a time where i couldn't deal with the pain, i remember suicidal thoughts and angry mutulations of my own esteem but i've been strong all my life...i've been through so much and people tend to say that i haven't been through enough to really effect me (but what the hell do they know? how the hell are they going to tell me? they definitely weren't there to be a shield when i was getting physically abused and i definitely don't remember them putting their hands over my ears to block out the continuous verbal abuse) but it has. I am who i am today because of my past. and though now, in the future, my heart is broken in fifty millions pieces, i' m sure that i will pick them up. I will heal, I will move on...and even though i cry at the thought of missing him now that he's gone? i don't regret it never happened...I love him and i wish that one day, he finds the happiness that he deserves...because all the pain he is enduring now??? its a straight shot towards unhealthy and i wish i would've been able to show that to him...
-Nutritional Healer for the Heart

GROWING UP, NOT SURE IF I WANT TO BUT UNDERSTANDING I HAVE TO...

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