Broken Hearts Heal

Sometimes things end. They hurt and bruise us, but we grow up. I looked back on the last post I made and...It made me sad. I can't explain how I felt but love was the only thing that kept me sane. My first semester of college was so hard. I had so many changes and...him just being there for me made me feel so much better. I want so hard to be angry at the situation...but it isn't anger that i feel...just pain and hurt...I wish I could move on because I'm positive that he's moved on the minute that he broke up with me but...I can't. I try not to think about it but it seems to make my heart tighten when I think of not ever waking up next to him again, or dancing with him, or watching him play hours of a computer game. There are great memories there and I just can't seem to deal with it. I try to convince myself that girls go through these moments all the time but...let's face it. I'm no ordinary girl and I never will be. I've never had one of these breakups before. I don't know how I'm supposed to react. I'm not the rebound type of girl. I don't want to be anyone's rebound and I don't want to have one. People have been giving me advice, saying I should just date someone else or hook up with someone and I'm not like that! I can't just be with someone I don't care about. I think the sun has set on my love life. It's died. Every time I get into one I always seem to mess it up or it always goes down hill. But I've decided I'm not going to be a victim anymore. Just because someone doesn't love me anymore doesn't mean my life has ended. If guys don't want to love me then that's okay. I'm not going to do this anymore...Maybe when I'm older but right now? Life couldn't get worse and I'm not trying that anymore. Life has to change and I'm sick of being hurt. I guess the Ice Queen is back. The light in me sees the light in you.