I just realized something (in communication with a change):
Life is so full of crap....i mean surprises, it definitely will screw us over...telling us that as soon as we figre something out, as soon as the one thing that is going right in our life...that one person/thing/time that made us happy/content/jovial that comes it will tear it away from us...it will rip it out of our hands and smash it to the ground, grinding it into the cement beneath our feet...That happyiness/contentment/(watever u change jovial to) can change over a span of minutes, hours, days or even weeks and you notice it and/or you try to stop it and yet it is still far from you...a goal never reached...might possibly have been an achievement in the future to regain but at that second you know it is gone and that there is nothing you, in your little person will power can do about it....
Then there is that moment that you can feel happiness in the midst of the pain, in the midst of surprise, in the midst of life itself...you know not that what you had that you THOUGHT was good was actually bad...noooo, you know that it being gone?....it being gone/leaving you/abandoning you/or just moving on from you is really NOT THAT BIG A DEAL...especially if you felt it coming and you knew ur mind would wrap around it...squeeze the life out of it...and then press u on to better things...
-thinking on the bright side of life :)
GROWING UP, NOT SURE IF I WANT TO BUT UNDERSTANDING I HAVE TO...
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